Dreams and Courage

There is a quote from Pride and Prejudice that I often think of. Elizabeth is teasing Mr. Darcy and she says "We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say somthing that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb." This describes my feelings toward writing perfectly. I love to read. There isn't a time I can remember that I didn't enjoy a library, a new book, or some flight of fancy based on the characters I had just met. I would love to write books, and in fact my mind is so often taken up in its own creations and stories that I find it difficult to concentrate on day to day activites. However, I struggle with a fear. I fear that if I try to write, it will be no good.

How awful to contempt the death of a dream! It's one I have cherished my whole life. I truly enjoy making up thing in my head. I compose while working out, doing dishes, cleaning toliets . . . and I am thoroughly entertained by my creations. But what if no one else is? I'm sure there will be something lost in translation from mind to pen, so I never attempt it. Even this blog, which was supposed to help me practice my writing, seems to lay dusty and neglected on the shelf of my priorites. If I never begin the race, I will never lose it.

Despite my doubts, I feel plagued by the feeling that I should write. It's almost as if I need to. Where is my courage? Paul has a quote on the basement wall where we work out. It's the one that goes "It is not the critic who counts . . ." Basically, it says to not listen to the nay-sayers, the ones who critique your efforts. If you are out there trying, if you are in the arena with the sweat and the blood, then that's what counts. My mother and husband think I should write. They are the two people who know me best. Why wouldn't I listen to them?

I have been reading a book called The Happiness Project. Paul told me I would like this woman, that she seems like she is similiar to us. I agree with him and I'm only on chapter 3. Anyway, I have been contemplating my own happiness lately, and I think writing is essential to it. I have to try. I think it would be wrong to ignore the gifts that Heavenly Father has given me. So, I will write. I don't know what yet, and the idea is still daunting, but as this blog its already set up, I will start here.